2004-07-18 - 2:23 a.m.
as some may know, i've been into facials lately. actually, that's not entirely accurate. i've been searching for (free) videos of girls getting face fucked then cum all over. i have this one clip of a girl circled by guys. they seem to be taking turns fucking her mouth, except the clip shows just one. it's horribly degrading, and she's gagging and spitting cum all over herself, but i get really turned on. i do like some other facial clips, but not stills. i think i prefer the ones that are demeaning, though one or two where the girl is enjoying it (or pretending to) have been hot. this said, i'm not interested in cumming on my girlfriend's face. it holds no appeal for me. i think the real desire is to demean women. not all women, but specific ones who i dislike. i want to fuck them in degrading ways, ways that make them feel dirty and used. one was opposed to giving blow jobs because in her experience it was 'expected' of her, and because the position seemed demeaning. it was a position of weakness, and she wanted an equal balance of power in her relationships. she was a bossy bitch. she didn't complain when i licked her pussy, especially when her body quaked as she came. that girl had these huge multiple orgasms when she came. when she did this while i was still fucking her, when i hadn't cum yet, i'd have to hold on just to stay in her. after she came she wasn't as interested in sex, but she'd let me finish in her. well, usually. sometimes she'd 'graciously' consent to letting my jack off over her, cum on her tits. it's better than nothing. another girl was a cunt, and a bit whorish. very whorish, actually. i wanted to fuck her all over the place, but i wanted it to be clear that i was just using her body as a receptacle for my cock, like i was masturbating in her. like she was a blowup doll. i wanted her to feel like she was completely interchangable with anyone else, or even my hand. i wanted to fuck her face, too, but that never happened. i wanted to have her over one night and fuck her all over the apartment, so she'd be sore when she staggered home in the morning. she'd be sore in all her holes, and maybe bleeding from the ass a bit, not having had much experience with anal sex. oh, she liked it, she screamed for more, but she also knew she was just being used and would feel like shit about it later. this desire to demean may also explain why i want to piss on a girl. actually, i think i'd prefer her pissing on me. i think of this one girl i used to fuck. she wouldn't let me see her naked, but i really wanted her to stand over me, naked, with all the lights on, while i lay in the bathtub. i wanted her to piss on my hard cock, then my chest, then kneel down and make me drink the piss out of her, straight down my throat. i wanted it stinging my eyes and staining my tongue. i'm getting hard just thinking about this. harder than i did with those others. so maybe i want to be degraded, maybe i want to be dirty and used. i think about demeaning others because i feel i'm a bad person to think that way. hmm, now i wanna fuck some girl's mouth. i want to go out to a bar, meet a girl, bring her home and fuck her face. we come in and we don't make out--we don't even kiss--i just open my fly and push her head down to my cock. i push her against the door with my pelvis, my cock in her mouth. i fuck her against the door, her head banging on it in time. she's gagging on my cock, trying to push me away, crying, trying to beg for mercy. she thinks to bite me but can't--i'm too deep in her for her mouth to work. all she can do is take it and cry. when i cum, i cum buckets, i cum rivers. i pump my cum down her throat, then pull out, cuming across her tongue, down her chin, all over her face, neck, tits. it's like i'm pouring milk on her, it's all over the place. when i finally stop i'm still hard so i push her to the floor and fuck her, licking my cum off her body as i do so. she moans for my cock, tells me she loves how hard it is, throws her head back and screams for more. she doesn't care about the facefucking, she just wants my cock in her pussy, just wants to be fucked. i don't want her to cum, i don't want her to be satisfied. i don't want her to enjoy it at all. so i pull out and flip her over. she thinks i'm going to take her doggystyle, so she's quite surprised when my hard cock rams into her ass. surprised and totally unprepared. she howls in pain but i hold her head down against the floor to muffle the sound. any time she screams or moans or whimpers i push her face on the floor and ram her harder. when she's not crying i grab her hips and bang her ass. maybe she blacks out from the pain, i don't care. when she comes to she's lying naked in a filthy hallway, her clothes strewn around her (a sock is missing, though, and her watch). she can feel something warm dripping out her ass, and finds a sticky red puddle on the carpet under her. she gathers her clothes, gingerly putting them on (but leaving off the thong th-thong thong thong) and hobbles down the hall. she has to descend a flight of stairs before she can leave. on her way out she passes a little girl wearing her watch. she starts to say something about it then decides she's too sore and abused to care. she staggers through the dark pre-dawn until she finds a cab to take her home. later that day, after a good bath, a lot of lotion, and a heavy dose of painkillers she calls the number i gave her and asks when she can see me again.
